3 Honour widows that are widows indeed. 4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. 8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, 10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. 11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; 12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. 13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. 14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 15 For some are already turned aside after Satan. 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed. (1 Timothy 5:3-16 KJV)
Honor True Widows
Directions are given concerning the care of widows who were supported by the church: “Honor widows who are truly widows.” (1 Timothy 5:3). To honor them means to maintain them and admit them into service. In those days, certain widows were employed in the church to care for the sick and aged under the supervision of the deacons. From the earliest days of the church (Acts 6:1), widows were given special attention to ensure they were not neglected. The general rule is to honor and care for widows who are truly in need, treating them with respect and compassion.
Those who were to receive help from the church had to be pious and devout, not worldly or indulgent (1 Timothy 5:5-6). A true widow, left alone and desolate, trusts in God and continues in prayer day and night. God sometimes allows His people to experience hardship so they may learn to depend on Him more fully. Widowhood is a lonely condition, yet God says, “Let your widows trust in Me” (Jeremiah 49:11). Those who truly trust in God will be steadfast in prayer, as Anna was, who “did not depart from the temple, but served God with fasting and prayer night and day” (Luke 2:37). But a widow who lives in pleasure—living for worldly enjoyment and luxury—is not a true widow. “She who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives” (1 Timothy 5:6), spiritually dead, having no life toward God. More generally, anyone who lives only for pleasure is spiritually dead, buried alive as to the true purposes of life.
The church was not to be burdened with supporting widows who had family members able to care for them. “If any widow has children or grandchildren, let them learn first to show piety at home and to repay their parents” (1 Timothy 5:4). Children can never fully repay the love and care of their parents, but they are commanded to help them in their time of need. This duty is called an act of piety because caring for parents honors God. “This is good and acceptable before God.” The Pharisees falsely taught that giving to the temple was more important than caring for one’s parents (Matthew 15:5), but the apostle teaches otherwise. He adds, “If anyone does not provide for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Neglecting one’s family responsibilities contradicts the very heart of Christian faith. Therefore, those who are able must care for their poor relatives so the church may have enough to help those who are truly in need (1 Timothy 5:16). Charity wrongly given hinders true charity; wise discernment ensures that help reaches those who genuinely deserve it.
The widows to be supported by the church had to meet certain qualifications. They had to be at least sixty years old, the wife of one man, known for good works, and of honorable conduct. Such a woman would have been a faithful wife, a good housekeeper, and well known for hospitality and kindness. “If she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted” (1 Timothy 5:10), she was to be cared for. It was not the bearing of children but the rearing of them that was emphasized; even childless women could qualify if they had cared for others’ children. The “washing of the saints’ feet” was a gesture of hospitality to weary travelers, especially to Christian workers. Those who had shown mercy in their prosperity deserved mercy in their need, for “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7).
Paul cautioned Timothy not to include younger widows among those supported by the church (1 Timothy 5:11). They might become weary of their duties, grow restless under discipline, and wish to marry again, “casting off their first faith.” This likely refers not to a vow of celibacy but to the commitment they made to serve Christ and the church in that role. Since Paul later advises younger widows to marry (1 Timothy 5:14), he could not have meant they were breaking a vow. Dr. Whitby observes, “If this faith referred to a promise made not to marry, it could not be called their first faith.”
Younger widows were also warned against idleness and gossip. “They learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies” (1 Timothy 5:13). Those who do not stay occupied with good work often fall into useless or harmful talk. Therefore, Paul advises, “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, manage the house, and give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:14). When Christians neglect their responsibilities or live carelessly, they bring reproach on the faith, and some had already done so (1 Timothy 5:15).
From this passage we learn that the early church cared deeply for widows, and modern churches should follow this example as far as they are able. In the distribution of charity, great care must be taken to support those who truly need and deserve it. A widow should not depend on the church if she has family to help her or if she lives in pleasure rather than piety. The reputation of the church and the honor of the Christian faith depend on the upright conduct of those who receive its care. Believers must also remember their duty to their families: to relieve their poor relatives, especially widows, so that the church may be free to help those who are “widows indeed.” (1 Timothy 5:3-16)